The Simplified Smartass Code
Ladies and gentlemen, little ones, I have a confession to produce: My name is Pete Corneil, and I am a smartass, so i have spent in regards to the last 25 years honing my craft, at this point, I must say I'm really good at it. But just like any craft, you will discover quite a few lessons it's important to learn before you can do it right, and not look like an absolutely incompetent wiener in working. In those Twenty five years, I have made every mistake you are able to make, said the actual wrong thing at most inopportune moment, generating a dumbass out of myself from the pursuit of smartassery. Now I am unable to guarantee that I won't make new mistakes within my quest, but I find from all of those mistakes. Now to avoid wasting you, my valuable readers from making the mistakes I've, I have devised a "Simplified Smartass Code," three simple guidelines to call home by in your quest at for above average smartass. Now this list is not an exhaustive manual by any stretch of your imagination, but it is an easy-to-learn, Successful system to get you well on your way...
Always have a smile on your own face: A friend of mine recently came upon this quotation, then when she did she sent it if you ask me with a note that said "Pete, I IMMEDIATELY looked at you when I saw this." It is a quote from George Bernard Shaw: "Mark Twain so i are in the same position. We have put things such as to make people, would you otherwise hang us, think that we are joking." I really like that quote. The easy truth of our life is that you can say ALMOST anything to ALMOST anyone as long as you have a genuine smile on your own face as your saying it. You are aware of, that kind of smile that's kind of crafty but completely open, letting the recipient of your jape (I've always loved that word) understand that your being playful, and you're simply letting them in about the joke even if they're at the receiving end of that joke. Should you not know what kind of smile I'm dealing with, just imagine that you do, you need to practicing it. You possibly will not get it right the first time (so you should practice on someone that you don't mind pissing off at the beginning,) but with practice stick to get it. And once you choose to do, the world is your oyster.
Always possess a reason for saying it: Promoted doesn't make sense to alienate or insult someone for something they don't even do. Always remember: the goal of a good smartass should be to use cleverness to foster improvement. To cleverly talk about a friend's annoying habit that anybody else notices too, that's okay. To simply insult someone for something they can't help, that's not cool. If your goal is not to produce things better, you are not a smartass, you're an asshole. As there are a big difference. I've been called both names lots of times, and in all of those thousand times, I've known the context. When I'm called an asshole, I've touched someone the wrong way, when I'm referred to as a smartass, I can still just about guarantee that I can obtain that person to buy me a beer at the end of the night. When in doubt, use my simple specification of being a smartass: "A "Proper Smart-Ass" is: someone that can find the joke in anything and believes that it's his duty to suggest it out, especially when you are considering the intrusive, counterproductive and outright dumb actions of others."
Have an unwavering belief inside it: If you're going to pull the "smartass card," you should fully support what you will be saying. In being a smartass, you're taking a warrior's stance, and nobody respects a warrior who retreats ahead of time. If you're going to get it done, know what you're doing, why you're working, and how far you want to capture it. If you're not willing to fight for it (without in a physical way, this really is supposed to be for fun and fun usually disappears instantly if there's the potential for a fisticuffs. Be smarter than that,) Should you not really believe in it, think before doing it.
Every time just like this C H O M P S Fractured Flickers Pat Carroll guest Just One Night Frenchmen Bob Saget Blue State Brutal Massacre A Comedy Kissin Cousins Sgt Kabukiman NYPD Disco Worms Elvis Has Left The Building Every time just like this C H O M P S Fractured Flickers Pat Carroll guest Just One Night Frenchmen Bob Saget Blue State Brutal Massacre A Comedy Kissin Cousins Sgt Kabukiman NYPD Disco Worms Elvis Has Left The Building Every time just like this C H O M P S Fractured Flickers Pat Carroll guest Just One Night Frenchmen Bob Saget Blue State Brutal Massacre A Comedy Kissin Cousins Sgt Kabukiman NYPD Disco Worms Elvis Has Left The Building Every time just like this C H O M P S Fractured Flickers Pat Carroll guest Just One Night Frenchmen Bob Saget Blue State Brutal Massacre A Comedy Kissin Cousins Sgt Kabukiman NYPD Disco Worms Elvis Has Left The Building Every time just like this C H O M P S
Those three guidelines should keep nicely on your route to expert smartassery. Feel free to have fun with these rules just a little to suit your own personal preferences, but don't stray too far there or you might find yourself inside a little bit of trouble. And perhaps as a back-up plan, it may help to learn a little self-defence too. That's another lesson I've learned over time, but it's definitely another lesson for an additional day.